So this has been a crazy ass week for drama. Not so much directly in MY life. But practically everyone around me seems to be experiencing some troubling stressful situations. Its literally felt like living in the midst of a soap opera. Hearing shocking news from every direction and having absolutely no control over any of it.
Trying to help is about as useful as shouting at the glass screen while the events continue down their rocky path, completely oblivious to any input you might have on the situation.
No all you can do is be there while the events play out and hope that in the end the people you care about will pull through and be able to move on with their lives.

I've always hated the feeling of being helpless. Every time I see a problem my natural instinct is to find a solution and fix it. I don't like having to stand idle and let events unfold on their own. I suppose that the definition of having a control issue.
It's definitely something I've had to learn to deal with over the years. But its never easy. I often have to concentrate on just listening rather then inserting my opinion while people are talking to me about their problems.
So needless to say, its been kind of a rough week for me. Obviously its been Nothing in comparison the people around me going through their shit. But it literally hurts every time I hear what they've been going through and I know that nothing I can do will help. All I can do is sit there and tell them I'm sorry.

I really look forward to being able to look back at this rough time in everyone's lives and be able to say "That sucked at the time, but look how much happier we are now". I know everything eventually works out. It did for me, I know it will for everyone else too. I just have to stick around and let it happen :P
Good Luck guys :)

So I think its about time I try to get this blog thing rolling again. My life has been nothing short of hectic this past year or so. I'm sure I'll forget to mention a couple of things, but hopefully I'll remember the big stuff.

In November Ashley and Travis got married in Vegas and invited Jen, Aaron and I to come down and go to Six Flags with them to celebrate. Crazy Awesome good times ensued despite a few unfortunate experiences along the way :P
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As of January 21st, Jen's Birthday, I asked Jen to marry me and she of course said yes :) We'd actually known for a long time we wanted to get married and a few weeks before we had even went out together to look at rings. Most of what we came across was pretty basic. But one in particular we found really stood out to both of us. So a few days later I went back and bought it.
I always really wanted to be one of those people who did something really elaborate a awesome when "Popping the question" But after I got the ring I was just too excited to keep it too myself. So the night before Jen's birthday as we were watching Lost, I asked Jen if she wanted her present and brought out the ring :D
We've still got a LOT of planning to do, but we're aiming to get married Next July (2010) and Honeymoon in San Diego in September at Comic-con :P


In March I FINALLY got a new Job after being unemployed for over nine months. It's a small family run advertising business in Lynden, WA called Mike French & Company. They mostly do advertising for "Auto Recycling Facilities" aka Junk Yards (a term which is considered borderline offensive in the industry :)
They also put out a publication call the Auto Recycler's ToolBox. I got hired on to be their Lead Graphic Designer. An experience I'm sure not to soon forget. In May they brought me along to Connecticut for one of the larger Conventions they attend annually to introduce me to the people they work with and to get a feel for the industry. I really had a blast. The best part of the trip by far was getting to know the people I work with better. It was definitely a welcome change of pace compared to my previous job at Grizzly where I just felt like an unappreciated cog.
Also, I was able to get Little Erin a part time Assistant job here as well. It's been so great having my little Sis as a fellow employee. We hardly get to hang out much these days. So seeing her as often as I have has been extremely Awesome! :)


Bend Oregon!
Holy Crap what an amazing trip! Nate's Parents have a kick ass cabin in Bend and every year everyone goes down to experience the breweries, snow and surrounding nature. This was to first year I got to come along and it was incredible! So many memories and experiences all crammed into a tiny 4 days. I can't wait to do it all again :D
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This year has been CRAZY for people getting married!
First was Mr. Ben Bethea in June. Aaron and I went to his bachelor party in Gig Harbor at an AWESOME cabin. We soon learned that Ben has made a lot of friends in life that we really didn't even know. The evening was memorable to say the least. But the one event that I think will stick with me forever would be that night. The three of us were all a bit buzzed from the various drinks being made. We decided to get away for a little bit by taking a kayak out on the lake. The cabin's property sat on the edge of a canal that leads out to an open lake area. So as the three of us began climbing in to the kayak, it quickly became apparent that our combine weight was going to be too much as water begin to pour in and onto Aaron who had climbed into the front. Upon restrategizing the situation. I launched Ben and Aaron off without me. As began heading back to the cabin, I paused and thought for a second. I turned back to notice the neighbor's had a little boat. At 4am in the morning, I figured it wouldn't hurt anyone if I were to borrow said boat for an hour and return it before anyone would notice it missing. And so I was off. I caught up with Aaron and Ben and we spent some quality time out on the peaceful lake together under the stars.
The next weekend was Ben and Kristen's wedding and it was beautiful. Easily on of the best weddings I've ever been to. Jen and I were taking all sorts of notes :P
It's easy to see they are going to make each other very happy for many years to come :)
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A little later in June, Jen and I got to see one of our Favorite Comedians, Brian Regan at the Mt. Baker Theater in Bellingham. He was hysterical as usual. We both had a lot of fun.


Which brings us to July :D
This year was the 5th anniversary of Team Tetris being in the Sedro-Woolley 4th of July Loggerodeo Parade. And being such, we figured it was probably time to actually bring back the Tetris pieces. And so we did! All 7! It took a crazy couple of days for building, but we got them done in time and had the biggest turnout ever with 15 of us storming the Woolley streets and bringing joy to all the small town gamers young and old :P
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Kari and Garret ended bought a sweet little house in Lyman and had an awesome open house party. The grand tour Kari gave Jen and I was laden with many awesome ideas and plans they have for their place. I really can't wait to see how it turns out. I'm especially excited for their theater room :D
A bunch of Traci's family was there as well who I hadn't seen since New Years which made the event an even more special treat. But the highlight by far was Kari and Gerret's new Mastiff puppy, Ajax. SO ADORABLE! Big dogs make the cutest puppies. Just look out when they start drooling! :P


The following Wednesday Aaron and I got to debut our latest project at Trailer Wars IV. Earlier in the month our Friends Joe and Devon used us as extras in their trailer for a live action Zelda movie. We found out they were doing this as a submission for a local event start up called Trailer Wars. Each week a set of guidelines is laid out by the winners of the previous week. Anyone and Everyone can submit their trailer for their version of said film at the next months screening. Aaron and I decided this sounded like fun, so we came up with a script and entered "Road Trip From Hell" (the theme was Road Trip Movie :) We didn't win, but it was a lot of fun and we'll probably be doing more later on.

Later that same night we went to the Green Frog to catch Bearkat who was back in town. The last time she came through I had no idea who she was, but I instantly fell in love with her music. I downloaded everything I could find and put it on my iPod. Jen loved it too. So I was super excited to get to see her play again. The show was great, there were new songs and stories from the tour. It would be amazing to have that sort of experience. I can only imagine.
The highlight for me came later in the evening when during the show, they mentioned they needed a place to crash for the night. It didn't take me long to decide to offer them my couch. A few hours later, there I was hanging out with one of my favorite musical artists in my apartment talking about their trip, Bellingham, and anything else. I wish we could have had more time, but it was late and we all need sleep. The next day I pointed them in the direction of some B'ham highlights and left for work, still dizzy from the awesome experience :)


Next came J.R.'s wedding. I still can barely believe my little bro I grew up next door to is married (before me! :) It was the most... Unique wedding I've ever been to (or a part of for that matter) to say the least. It was all cowboy themed. I know, I know. I partly blame myself. I tried to keep him into cool things while I was still around, but after I left for collage, the town just sort of took over I guess. Country just seems to be all he knows :P ANYway, so yeah. Being the best man, I had the luxury of dressing up in Black cowboy boots, jeans and hat with a tux jacket, bola tie and a PINK vest! Sure, I totally made it look good, but damn! Needless to say, in order for me to agree to this, J.R. has promised to wear as much clown attire as Jen and I see fit at our wedding. He'll probably get away with just a red foam nose. But whatever :D
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Aaron is now working as the PR person for WHAAM. A local NFP Music venue in Bellingham. So I offered my services to designing Gig Posters whenever he may need. I did my first a few weeks ago and had TONS for fun making it. I can't wait for the next one. Rumor is it will be for a Halloween Show! YAY! :P
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This summer Kayser made the move down to Kent to live with Kat. ...Damn, 'lotta "K"s there :P Anywho, so naturally they threw a house warming party for all of us to come drink and to a lesser extent watch sports on TV :D As usual when ever Kyser is involved, there was an epic spread of assorted snacks and goodies. Those two make an awesome team in this department! :) I brought along my own surprise that I stumbled upon on our way across the border. A bottle of Crystal Head Vodka! I made everyone reluctantly gather for a straight shot of this magical drink. I must say, I wasn't expecting it to be as good as it was. Didn't even need a chaser. Dan Aykroyd surely knows his stuff. Needless to say, I got PRETTY wasted that night for the first time in awhile. Good times! :D

And latest, but not nearly least. PAX!
The last couple of years I attended Penny Arcade Expo, I would chalk up as "okay". Decent convention experiences, but nothing overly amazing. This year by FAR blew all of that away. Straight off the bat, we attended all 3 days which I must say, is the ONLY way to go to PAX anymore. It was HUGE. So much cool stuff to see and do. And Swag galore! The most memorable experience the whole weekend for me was Riding Ruin. A mechanical Demon Steed set up at the Darksiders booth. I knew the instant I saw this monster that I had to ride it. I actually surprised myself by staying on too! I thought for sure I would get violently whipped off like so many before me. But on this day, I arose victorious :P
SO many other awesome things happened during our 3 days at PAX. But if I were to write about them all this post would probably become twice the length it already is. So I'm cutting off here. :)
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There! All caught up! *Whoo*
Now I just gotta keep updating again.
Good luck me! :P

Goomba by ~Flash321 on deviantART


Wind Waker Link by ~Flash321 on deviantART


Shiek by ~Flash321 on deviantART

I recently started playing around with oil pastels in order to finish a painting I'd been working on for my mom for damn near almost a year. I also made a painting for my dad. After getting used to the medium again I pretty much fell in love the effects I was able to achieve by blending the pastels with my fingers. Since then I've started making paintings of Video Game characters and putting them up in the Game store that Jen works in just to see if they got any attention. Yesterday they had a Christmas sale. I was really surprised how much I overheard people talking about them. I was even more surprised when one in particular started getting quite a bit of buzz. After being bought by a friend of Brian's many people started asking if there would be more.
Needless to say I'm pretty damn excited. I can't wait to see where all of this goes. I'd love to just keep making these fun paintings and selling them. I never really thought I'd be comfortable with the idea of selling off original art pieces like this. But having crossed that bridge now, I think I'm more flattered with the idea that people like something I've made enough to hang it in their home. :-D



Bob-omb by ~Flash321 on deviantART


Moogle by ~Flash321 on deviantART


Black Mage by ~Flash321 on deviantART

I guess after I lost my job, I lost the usual time I had to ponder and write things out as well.
Many cool things have happened since then that I'd usually write off the wall about. Went to see the Foo Fighters, I've seen tons of movies this summer I could review, I fucking went to COMIC-CON!!
Yet still, this general post will have to do for now. Being unemployed just seems to take up more free time then I'd ever imagine.
Heres a couple new cool things though!

Vantage Comics

And

Oh Uwe Boll, is there anything you can't fuck up?
Thats right, the video game movie director everybody loves to hate has done it again. I must say, I was actually surprised at how bad this was. Seriously, I went into the movie fully expecting it to suck hard balls! I've seen the kind of movies Uwe Boll makes. But this time I really thought he had finally taken on something he could handle. I mean this movie pretty much required one thing. A gun toating psychopath laying waste to everything he sees. And even with a premiss THAT simple, Uwe Boll fell flat on his lame ass wanna-be directing face. Instead he decided to have about 5 different plot lines flail around aimlessly for an hour and a half, then when it was obvious there would be no satisfying resolution, he (literally) nukes the whole thing.
I will admit, although few and far between, the movie does have its moments. There are actually some genuinely funny, edgy and WAY over the top parts that ALMOST make the movie worthwhile. But are soon there after buried under tons of mindless, boring, nonsensical plot shit.
Zack Ward, despite given very few chances to shine, is Damn hilarious! Even in a shit heap of film such as this, he puts in his all, whether kicking ass or goofing around. I really hope he is recognized for his efforts. He deserves to be considered more than just a 3rd rate actor at this point.
At the end of it all I really don't think it can be considered too surprising that Uwe Boll once again has failed at delivering anything worthwhile here. If you are like me, just wanting to watch out of sick curiosity, just wait and rent it. Its really not worth tracking down at one of the handful of theaters its playing at. Otherwise, as per usual with Boll's movies. Avoid at all costs! :-P
1 Kitty Silencer out of 5
Weak Sauce Uwe, Weak Sauce!

Check out this sweet Zelda themed Guitar Hero/Rock Band guitar Aaron and I made.
Bid on it if you love it :-D

So I finally did it!
I sucked it up and went and got my tattoo. I'm actually kind of surprised how easy the whole thing was. Seriously I think the most painful part of the whole thing is going to be when my dad finds out about it. But as a good friend of mine told me, If he can't look past this and realize I'm still a great person then thats his problem. Really I don't think it'll be that big of an issue. I just fear the initial look of disappointment on his face.

Anyway. Back to the story at hand :-D
I've come to realize that most people tend to not like other people's tattoos. I think this is because we realize it is a permanent thing. So maybe people think of it in terms of "I wouldn't want that on MY body forever". But really a tattoo is usually a lot more about marking a significant time or event in your life. So more often the not it just an image that the person really connects with and can associate with that feeling.

For me, I designed this image to represent my favorite comic character, Nightwing. I connect with the character for a few reasons I think. He was actually the first Robin. But he has since moved on from being Batman's sidekick to do his own thing. So he sort of symbolizes coming of age, growing up and becoming independent which right now are pretty prominent aspects of my life.
I also connect with it because I've always been passionate about comics. Especially now that I've begun creating my own. Not to mention the fact that I may be in Ashley's Batman fanfilm in the near future :-P
So really this just felt right. I wanted to commemorate this moment in my life. It feels finally like the doors to a creative career are beginning to open and I'm excited to see what the future of it all holds. :-)

Plus my girlfriend thinks its hot! ;-P

I feel like all the rules have changed. As if everything I thought I knew about love just got completely erased and rewritten. All my carefully crafted notes, hastily crumpled and tossed away. I've always thought of love as a process. You meet someone you find interesting or attractive (or both :-) and you start getting to know them. Gradually you just keep peeling back the layers of each other to try and see if you make a compatible match. As with every relationship you'll have disagreements and you'll inevitably come to a compromise or go your separate ways.

I had no idea it was possible to just meet someone and feel an instant connection and intense mutual attraction. I've always heard sayings like "falling in love" and thought, "Oh thats just what people call that feeling when your dating someone". I never realized just how literal that term could be. It seriously feels like falling! Attempts to take things slow are pretty much futile. And for some reason you just don't care. Its like all your cautious reflexes are turned off. You just keep falling deeper and faster and you couldn't be happier about it.

It sounds crazy!! It sounds absolutely off the wall fucked up Looney! Get your head examined you reckless nut case Wacko fruit bat! But at the same exact time it makes undoubtable perfect sense to the two of you. When you lock eyes and don't even have to say a word because you've already finished each other's thought. The world literally melts away around you and you just stare. And you realize that if you could just stay there forever, without any squint of a doubt, you would! ...all that other shit becomes meaningless. And all of a sudden its the rest of the world thats crazy for not understanding.

People attempt to describe it everyday. Through art, music, really any and every medium imaginable. But until you find it, FEEL it! Its impossible to understand. Nothing does it justice. Its quite literally indescribable. But when it happens you will most definitely know! You can't imagine ever being without that person again, nor would you ever want to. You'll never want to let them go. I KNOW I won't! I just feel so amazingly lucky to have found her now, so early in my life. When so many others can go their whole life waiting. Everyone deserves to be this happy. Everyone!

Last night Jen and I went to see "Cake" at a venue called Vogue in Vancouver. It was an amazing show! We had an awesome view from our balcony seats and they couldn't have played a better selection of songs. Sheep Go to Heaven, Rock N' Roll Lifestyle, Frank Sinatra, Its Coming Down, Wheels, Never There, Shadow Stabbing, Short Skirt/Long Jacket, Arco Arena, Mexico, Guitar, Stickshifts and Safetybelts, The Distance, Comfort Eagle and of course Love You Madly. Such an incredible experience.
The whole evening was nothing short of beautiful. I am so completely infatuated with this girl. Sometimes its like we share a freaking brain. Its pure insanity at its finest and I couldn't care less. The rest of the world literally disappears when we're together. I don't know how life could possibly get any better then it is right now :-D

PS, please vote for my shirt :-P

Life never fails to amaze me. It is literally insane how fast the dynamics of it all can change. Typically I tend to post very vague references like that because I really don't want everyone to know exactly what I'm talking about. But this time I really don't care who knows.
I am impossibly happy! I met someone this last weekend and made a instant connection with her. It was incredible! I can't believe how much we have in common, how freaking giddy I feel just being around her and how much she feels the exact same way about me. Its nuts! Its like some sort of fantastical dream that I never want to end.
I'm really not accustom to being so open about my personal life. Especially about someone I've just met. But I can't help it. I want everyone to know! I just feel so amazingly lucky.
Anyway, to everyone who was there for me when I was being a little emo bitch, thank you! You were absolutely right, just being me was all I ever needed to do. I think Karma has finally decided to do me a solid :-P
*Pounds it with Karma* "Bones!" XD

As the seasons change (or at least attempt to) I feel like mind is searching for distinction. A grasp on the feeling, mood, vibe, or whatever of the approaching months. Every sort of period in life just to have an over all ora about it. Sometimes you can smell it, take a deep breath and just sort take in the world around you. Maybe a better way to describe it would be like a chapter in a book. It can be as long or as short as you want, but it only exists for that amount of time and then its gone.
Sometimes there will be a brief instance where a feeling from the past will just wash over me. Maybe it'll trigger memories. Maybe it will pass before I even get the chance to appreciate it. It's almost like a Deja Vu, but much less specific. I really think it has a lot to do with the weather though. Just something about the air, the way it smells. I think it subconsciously gets associated with our memories. attaching to a period in our life and then moving on with the wind. Like the scent of a past love associates itself with the memories of that person.

Its been quite sometime since I've actually made a post about me and my current events. Mostly cause I really didn't consider anything I had going on all that interesting. And I just can't bring myself to write about shit that I'd personally have no interest in reading :-D
But I must admit, life as of late has been fantastically exciting for me. Main reason being I've been getting back to doing the stuff I love, Being creative! Most exciting to me has been working/conversing with the person writing my comic, Ashley.

I finally received the first bit of script from her and I'm pretty much floored. Its intimidating to read because I've never really tackled anything like this, just dreamed about it really :-P It's going to take some time, and I'm really going to have to flex and hone my illustration abilities. But I absolutely LOVE the challenge. And now I really feel like I have a partner on the project who cares about it as much as I do. I can't wait to make it all come alive.

Also, the very same person happens to be working on a full length Batman fan film. How she makes time for her projects is beyond me. She has to have creative passion out the ass :-D She's invited me to work on the project and I couldn't be more thrilled! I can tell by what is in place so far its going to be an amazing piece of work. Not only that, but I may actually get to be IN the movie! Initially I asked if there was a part for Nightwing (my absolute favorite comic character). And there is, she has a cameo appearance written for him. It would be out of costume, but fans would still recognize the part.

About a week later I found out that she lost the actor cast to play Batman. It took me about to seconds to ask it I could try out for the part :-P She's casting for the rest of movie next week and I'm gonna try out for it. I actually got to finally meet up with her and her fiance Travis (who happens to be cast as the Joker) last Sunday.
It was so awesome to finally talk in person about our projects. Later we actually drove to Seattle to scout locations for filming. I never thought I'd actually WANT to explore the nasty back alleys of a city. But it was really a lot of fun :-)
Afterward I even got to read some of the script and do some lines for Batman. Acting can be damn hard! :-P
But I think with a little practice I could really play the part well. It definitely helped getting constructive/positive criticism. I think I've gone without it for so long I almost forgot what it was like.
Anyway, I couldn't be more excited about the whole thing. I finally feel like I'm back in my element. And there really is no better feeling then meeting people who you can really connect with like that. I felt like we'd been friends for years :-D

Aside from all of that, if you didn't know already. Aaron, Lauren and I have finally changed the format of our podcast and started doing video. It is a bit more time consuming. But I think we're all a lot happier with it now. For me it feels more like we've actually produced something worthwhile with each episode. And even if your not a huge gamer it can still be entertaining to watch. I think it's made all of us really start thinking more creatively about the show as well as forced us to focus on topics that are relevant to the majority of our audience. If you haven't seen it yet please check it out and give us some feedback. :-D

Whoo!....
Well honestly thats really just the positive elements of my life right now. Theres plenty I'm sure I could bitch and moan about. But really, whats the point? I'd much rather stay focused on the good things :-D
I'm sure there are enough other people writing about what sucks in their life. For once though, I don't feel the need to be one of them :-)

"Yay for the good guys!" Ironman is actually a really good movie!
I used to think it was best in movies based on comic books for the main actor to be relatively unknown. Someone who can step into the outfit of a well known superhero without their own typecasting getting in the way. If an actor/actress is too well known, their image can sometime work against that of a beloved character. You can also get the type of actor/actress who thinks their going to bring their own style to the character rather than just try to represent them the way they meant to be. So naturally I was a little scared when I heard Robert Downey Jr. had been cast as Iron Man. With past follies like Fantastic Four, Elektra, Ghost Rider and Spiderman, I really feared what another star might do to the genre.

What a pleasant surprise I had! RDJ Rocked! He really took his role seriously and delivered on a massive level. Not only that, but the rest of the cast was spot on as well. Gwyneth Paltrow played an absolutely fantastic Pepper Potts. And much like Batman Begins, we weren't bogged down with some unnecessary sappy love story. Terrence Howard Sets up James Rhodes Character beautifully. His tease toward War Machine was almost too much. I can't wait for him to dawn the suit in the next movie.
The initial set up story can start to drag a little bit. But it really helps to give the impression of what causes Tony Stark to take on such an ambitious role as a Superhero. Over all the movie more than delivers where it counts and sets up for many future endeavors in the superhero movie realm. Not only for just Iron Man, but many other favorites in the Marvel Universe as well. STAY UNTIL AFTER THE CREDITS!!

5 Glowing Chest Thingys out of 5

Oh Harold and Kumar! I know I can always count on your for a ridiculously good time :-D
Finally, one of my favorite comedies ever made a sequel, and the biggest surprise of all.... It was actually good!! This isn't just another turd pumped out by hollywood in response to the original movie making more than they expected it to. No this generally feels like a movie where they actually kept the main characters in mind and picked us up right where we left off with the last film.
Now of course you have to realize that this is obviously not a film with a deep plot. Its all for the taco shits and giggles. I wouldn't say it exceeds the first film by any means. Its more of an expansion on it. Anyone going to see this should definitely have seen the first one or your going to miss out on a lot of the jokes. But don't worry, this movie brings plenty of new ridiculousness to the plate!
Its an awesome great new crazy ass adventure that I think any fan of the first movie will love. And who can resist a drugged out Neil Patrick Harris? His cameos are priceless! :-P
I give this movie 4 NPH ass brands out of 5 -Enjoy!! :-D

I can only begin by saying this movie was a LOT better than I expected. Although I went in with fairly low expectations, they were definitely exceeded. I think I sort of had Jason Segal underestimated as an actor, mostly based on his role of the friend lacking in all taste and manners in Knocked up. But I think this film proves that he's a worthwhile actor. It also proves that he's more than comfortable with full frontal nudity Yes, beware. This movie will deliver quite the eye full of penis :-P
That aside I was really impressed with a lot of different aspects of the movie. It did a great job of creating highly uncomfortable but still realistic real life type of experiences AND managed to keep it all funny. Every time your really started to feel bad for someone there was always something funny to bring the mood back up. In a way, This is sort of what the movie The Breakup should have been. Dealing with the reality of being forced to get over someone. But keeping it funny enough to not leave you depressed.
What I think was even more surprising was how you get to experience everybody's point of view at some point. It did a great job of allow you to relate to all of the main characters rather than always just siding with the main one. At some point you really feel for everyone involved. So theres not real "bad guy" which can often be a pitfall in stories involving relationship problems.
All things considered, Probably one of the first great movies of 2008.
I give it 4 Hopeless Romantic Vampire Puppets out of 5 :-D


( On a personal note... )

Okay, I had the lowest of low expectations for this movie. In fact I never really thought I'd watch it. But I glad I gave it a chance. Despite some of the cheesy/retarded as hell plot elements of this movie. It really has so good stuff in it. Lots of great cameos from hollywoods funniest as well as some pretty decent comedic songs. So much so that I think I actually wouldn't mind owning the soundtrack :-)
Don't get me wrong, this movie's comedy sometimes requires you to ignore intellectual thought in order to laugh. But the gems hidden within are well worth the wading through the sewage.
3 machete fights out of 5 :-P

It can be SO frustrating when you decide something is worth your time, effort, concern, attention and you are inevitably proven wrong. It's like you think you can see something that isn't quite there. But you figure with the right influence it could really have the potential to be something great. At some point your "dream", as it were, either becomes a reality and justifies your efforts. Or you finally just accept that you were wrong, realize that what your dream was just that and cut your loses.
Nothing makes me feel like more of a failure than giving up. I hate it! I seriously think there has to be a positive solution to every problem. But sometimes its just too hard to reach that answer in time or it ends up costing more than its worth in the long run. I actually get angry just having the option to give up occur to me sometimes. I'd almost rather be blind to it altogether. But when things get tough, there it is. Growing more and more prominent while other courses of action fall away proving useless in their attempts to solve my situation.
Worse yet, sometimes I feel like I can see exactly how things will turn out. No matter what I think, do, say, it doesn't matter. Everything is firmly set in its course and I am powerless to change it in anyway. Like being strapped in a chair and being forced to watch a terrible accident that you knowcould have been prevented had you been free.

Example

LoL, the geek gods must be in a good mood today.
I just found out that at the end of the month I shall be the proud (albeit somewhat embarrassed) owner of a 6' tall IronMan cardboard cutout display from 7-11. Apparently Andrew, a guy I work with who I designed a tattoo for a little over a year ago, is good friends with the owners of the 7-11 on Lakeway. I guess when he saw the display he immediately thought of me and inquired about it :-P
Yup, so thats the story. I really have no clue what I'm going to do with the thing. All can think of at the moment is to put it in my window overlooking Railroad ave. :-D Damn, now girls are REALLY going to think I'm a nerd when I invite them over! The damn movie better be good too! I'm going to be pissed I end up with this thing and the movie completely sucks. Then I'll have to hid it under my bed ;-P